By following the following system, I believe I can get many so-called incels a date. I don't believe it will necessarily work for everyone. If someone's personality is too negative, they will likely fail. If they are unable to follow some of my steps, (for example, by not being capable of maintaining good hygiene), they likely fail. If they are only interested in women who are significantly better looking than they are, or have an unrealistic image of themselves and believe they are much more attractive than they really are, they will likely fail.
Here are the steps that I believe will take an incel into the world of dating:
Step 1: Maintain good personal hygiene. At the most basic this means showering every day, brushing your teeth twice a day, maintaining your hair, using acne medication if you have acne, and wearing deodorant. For acne, I recommend something with at least 5% benzoyl peroxide. More advanced hygiene would include a facial wash, an exfoliator, and moisturizer. You could also try wearing cologne. For this, I recommend going to a store and trying many types of colognes until you find the one that suits you.
Step 2: Do an internet search for men's hairstyles and pick one that would suit you. It should be one from this list: https://www.menshairstyletrends.com/best-haircuts-for-men/ Note that I am writing this in December 2019, so you should check which hairstyles are currently trending. If you are balding, then pick a hairstyle for balding men, like one of these: https://www.thetrendspotter.net/hairstyles-for-balding-men/ You might like your current hairstyles but women might not. Discovering this was a tough pill for me to swallow.
Step 3: Get stylish clothing. This website is excellent for discovering styles: https://lookastic.com/men/ I try to save money on clothing by shopping at thrift stores in wealthy suburbs.
Step 4: Hire a professional photographer. Now that you have a fresh cut and new threads, get someone to take photos of you. I recommend having photos taken similar to the ones found on https://lookastic.com/men/
Step 5: Set up some dating profiles. I have had the best luck with Tinder, Bumble, and Plenty of Fish. Upload the photos you had professionally done and make one of them your main photo. Add other photos of yourself that you might like.
Step 6: Set up your dating profile description so you sound like the type of guy women are attracted to. I learned this from reading the book A Billion Wicked Thoughts. Women are attracted to: competence, ambition, authority, dominance, wealth, and success. They like assholes who are only nice to them. Play yourself up to sound like you have an authoritative role, or are working towards having one. Women are also not generally looking for hookups, and are weary of men who are. Add something to your profile like "Serious relationships only, hookups swipe left."
After you have completed all of these steps, you should be getting interest from women on dating sites. Most dating sites offer an option to boost your profile, so you may want to do this for faster results.
Chatting with your matches might take some getting used to. Try to keep the conversations light and frivolous. I am still learning to act cool when I match with someone who I would have considered out of my league.
Finding the right person will take some patience, but when you are getting matches you will not feel so demoralized. Good luck!
Bonus step: Eat right and get some exercise every day. Try to avoid foods that contain sugar or are fried. Even moderate exercise is good. Try to make time for a 30 minute walk every day to get your body moving and clear your mind of negative thoughts.
